The ultimate creation.

August 1, 2010

Robot T-rex


Positively Positive

August 1, 2010

I received some test results in the mail today, seems that I don’t have mono. This is a good thing, I don’t think i could handle one more thing that’s primary goal is to make me feel tired and ultra-poopy.  Wheather this means I have strep or a staph infection or something else remains to be seen. Maybe it was just some kind of cold or mild flu bug, wouldn’t tat be cool?

This whole “You don’t have another terrible sickness” thing has got me feeling all sun-shiney and hopeful, so I’ve decided to try and put a positive spin on the whole “You may have a brain tumor.” (Holy crap, way too many quotation marks in that sentence.)

So without further ado,  in no particular order here is a list  of a few good things about potentially having a tumor/cancer:

I won’t have to worry about global warming.

I won’t feel compelled to recycle. (You may be saying, “But its for the children!” Sorry, at this moment I am unable to have any so I’m playing the selfish card.)

I’ll have something to say to the old-ladies who give me dirty looks when I park in a handicapped space.

If I ever visit a theme park I’ll get to go in the short lines.

I wont have to stress that apparently everything is carcinogenic.

Best of all?

Not having to deal with stupid people anymore.

Went to see Dr.Busby yesterday, I’ve been having a sore throat for about a week so I figured it was time to get it checked out. To make a long story short, it seems I have either strep or mono. The rapid culture for strep came back negative, but that doesn’t surprise me, even when I’ve had strep it usually only tests positive after being cultured. So now I get to sit around and wait.

Today was the very last day for my job as well. After my Game Crazy shut down I got transferred over to our sister store Hollywood Video to help with the liquidation process. As far as I know we were the last of all the Hollywoods to close, we received several 10,000 plus shipments of leftover merchandise from other stores over the past few months.

I took some pictures so I could be all nostalgic in the future if I want.


July 28, 2010

Doctors appointments all day yesterday and one today. Woo.

I saw the rheumatologist, he says that I have a “Connective tissue auto-immune disease”, when I asked what this meant he said “Its like Lupus, but not as bad”. He’s ordered more tests and I have future apps, as is par for the course.

The endocrinology visit was a bit more eventful, Dr.Goldstein didn’t start treatment as he wants to know more about what is causing the issues I’m having. He said he thinks I have a tumor on my pituitary gland, so I have another round of MRI’s to do. He said because my prolactin levels were so high last year when I first saw him he was concerned, so we did more lab work to see where they were at.

Basicly there are two courses of action to be taken. If the Prolactin levels are still high it means that my hippocampus isn’t talking to my pituitary gland,which means my pituitary gland isn’t telling my manly bits to do their job. I will have to take a pill every day and have testosterone shots. He said sometimes with this pill people get better and don’t have to get treatments anymore, but that I should expect to have to take it for several years at least.

The other option is that my prolactin levels have come down, which means I will just have to have the hormone replacement therapy, which means just the shots, but definitely for the rest of my life. We talked about different treatment options and the shots seem to be the best course, they are far cheaper than the patches. And while I have no fondness of needles and the thought of 27 shots a year makes me squeamish with the potential loss of health insurance money matters more than ever.

As far as the whole “He thinks I have a brain tumor” thing goes, I’m honestly not surprised or worried. This would explain why I have hydrocephalus and all my other varying problems. And as terrible as it sounds, with something like a brain tumor I can go to SSD and be all “This isn’t going away. Pay me!”

Chris Died

July 27, 2010

No not really.

Allot has happened, unfortunately none of it has been good so I have been moping and not wanting to talk about it.

To give you the short version I saw Dr.Hadden and he said all the symptoms I have are normal and that they will last up to a year, perhaps even permanently. So I may have to deal with being sick/migraines the rest of my life. Honestly, I’m ok with this.

I can actually think now, which is awesome. I don’t feel like im wandering around in fog anymore and can do things like count and drive again.

I have heard back from disability, they denied me. They say that my illness does indeed disable me but that they don’t think that I will be sick enough in a years time to still be unable to work. This is a disaster on many levels. The most obvious is that my job is ending, the store’s last day is this Friday.

My boss has been extremely understanding and has allowed my extremely flexible shifts, the fact of the matter is that in a super competitive economy I don’t think I will be able to find a new job. Bend has the highest unemployment rate in the state, sitting somewhere around 18%. I can go on unemployment, but because I was so sick last year my weekly benefits will only be about $90. Better than nothing I know, but not nearly enough to live off of.

The other bad side to being denied is that I now no longer qualify for the health insurance plan I’m currently on, I simply cannot afford to go to all of the doctors I am seeing now on my own. I have no idea what I’m going to do on this front. I’m appealing the decision about SSD, not because I think that I will be approved, but because while the claim is in process I will still have OHP, a temporary solution at best.

I am now seeing a new general doctor, her name is Dr.Busby. I met with her once and she had a full blood panel run, the long and short of it is that my testosterone and white count are still abysmally low. I’m seeing an endocrinologist and a rheumatologist  today, im expecting to have to do testosterone replacement therapy for the rest of my life.

I was going to see a hemotologist to figure out the white count thing, but apparently my doctor talked to the local guy and he said I didn’t need to be seen. I have no idea what this means or why, and the clinic Dr.B works for is a low-income clinic, meaning they are always extremely busy and understaffed, so my phone calls have not been returned.

I’ve been looking for jobs online, and have applied to a few. But I don’t have much hope. I don’t have a car, so anything that isn’t telecommuting has to be within walking distance, which for me is two blocks or less. Really limits my options. I did apply for a telecommuting job as an appointment setter for a music firm here in town, but haven’t heard back yet.

I can’t really think of anything else to update you on at the moment, though I’m sure I’m forgetting something. I am putting a lot of my hopes into my appointment with the endocrinologist today, im hoping that getting the proper levels of manly-juice in my system will help me feel better. I’m also hoping it will help me stave off depression, it’s getting to crippling levels.

Whats this?

June 14, 2010

I know what your thinking. “Is Chris dead?”

I promise, I’m not.

I haven’t been posting lately for a few reasons, and for that I apologise.

One of them is that things at work have gone from bad to worse. The company which bought us out to liquidate has decided they don’t need as much staffing as we can provide and has decreed that there shall be no more then 40 hours spent on all non-manager labor. Meaning, I’ve gone from having 40 hours a week to an average of 12. I was trying to squeeze in as much time while I could and was exhausted by the process.

Another reason I haven’t been posting is that I haven’t been feeling well. I’ve been getting progressively dizzier and not having to write about it means that i don’t have to acknowledge it. I’ve thrown up a few times and i fear the worst. I’m hesitant to call Dr.Hadden as I’ve come to realize that he is a neurosurgeon not a neurologist. So while I think he’s great I don’t know if he is the one I should be talking to.

Speaking of doctors, I’ve started seeing a general practitioner at Mosaic Medical, she cool. They drew a bunch of blood and it looks like almost everything looks good, with the exception of some hormone levels (but I expected that).

I honestly don’t know if i can say that I’ll be updating more frequently, though I do promise to try.


May 30, 2010

Sorry I haven’t posted in awhile, life seems to be happening all at once.

Been working allot lately, three or four days a week. It tires me out and it makes me dizzy but i’m doing it, which I count as a victory. Been seeing lots of doctors as well. Got a CT scan and visited Hadden twice, he says my brain is looking better now than any other time he’s ever seen it. He wanted a follow-up appointment… but in a year. I kind of going to miss him.

Had my first appointment with my new general care doctor, she seems very nice. We basically just went over all of my issues and started talking about possible plans of action. Before she did anything she wanted me to re-do all my past blood work, so I got to donate about 12 of those little vials all over again. Its funny, the lab tech thought I was crazy, i get freaked out by needles very easily, and she was acting calming and giving me the whole “it’s no big deal” speech. But when she prepped me she noticed the marks on my arm from giving blood and laughed. I didn’t know that blood-giving needles were bigger, guess you learn something new every day.

Depending on how the lab results come back the new doc thinks they will start giving me testosterone injections, apparently when my brain was all swollen it crushed my pituitary gland. Whoops. I’m actually excited for the shots, as the new doc said that it would make me feel not as sluggish and a balanced hormone level would make me feel better.

Hmm, and all this time at school they said juicing was a bad thing. =P

I miss lost already.

May 24, 2010

So the Lost finale was last night as I’m sure everyone in the world with electricity knows. I went to a Lost-Party with Des and we had a great time.

But I realized something while I was there, I wasn’t feeling well, and I didn’t really care. I’m tired of being sick and I’m tired of it preventing me from doing stuff on a daily basis. I no longer want to be defined by my illness. So I’m not going to hold back and baby myself anymore, consequences be damned. If I get dizzy and fall over so be it, at least I’ll be out and about. It’s true that I’m getting exhausted easily, but so what, I’ll take a nap and then carry on with my day.

I had a CT scan on Thursday and am having a follow-up appointment with Dr.Hadden this Wednesday, I’m curious to see whats going on inside my skull.

Home again.

May 16, 2010

Well I’m back in Bend and life is starting to return itself to normal.

I’ve returned to work for the time that it remains open because frankly, im completely broke and have many many bills that are due. I don’t really mind going back to work, but it leaves me drained and I would have preferred a bit more time off. Reminds me off a song by Cage the elephant:

Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked,
Money don’t grow on trees.
I got bills to pay,
I got mouths to feed,
There ain’t nothing in this world for free.
I know I can’t slow down,
I can’t hold back,
Though you know, I wish I could.
No there ain’t no rest for the wicked,
Until we close our eyes for good.

Saw Dr.Hadden, going in for another CT soon. I’ve been feeling quite well for the most part but there are still a few symptoms I cant seem to shake. Mostly the double vision, headaches and lack of balance. But at least the crippling migraines have stopped.

Ducks in a row.

May 6, 2010

Well my time here in Nebraska is drawing to a close. I’m picking up Des at the airport the day after tomorrow and I’m starting to get ready to return home.

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